Articles for Parents
What’s the One Thing?
Stefanie Armstrong, MS, LIMHP Take a moment to consider: What’s one consistent relationship ritual you do with your child almost daily? As a busy mom, I got to thinking about how there seem to be days that pass where I haven’t intentionally made a connection with each...
Letting Go of the Shoulds for More Successful Parenting
Debra Wesselmann, MS, LIMHP If you’re a parent, you may have said something like these statements at one time or another. (I know I have!) “My child ‘should’ be able to entertain himself.” “My adolescent ‘should’ know how to be more polite.” “My child ‘should’ stop...
Sunscreen, Acne and Sunburn… Listen, Don’t Launch!
-Cathy Schweitzer, MS, LMHP The other morning, Jeff and his mom came for their usual appointment. Jeff had been removed from his biological home for severe neglect. He spent several years in foster care moving from home to home before he was adopted. His first...
It All Started with Netflix
By Stefanie Armstrong, MS, LIMHP Clinical Commentary By Debra Wesselmann, MS, LIMHP Click here for full article...
Ten Tips to Increase Connection
Stefanie Armstrong, MS, LIMHP and Cathy Schweitzer, MS, LMHP Tip #1 Take a Look at YOU! Take a couple minutes each day and look in the mirror while you are getting ready in the morning and getting ready for bed. This may sound a bit strange, we know! But taking time...
When Parents Have a Traumatic Past
Ghosts in the Nursery --by Debra Wesselmann, MS, LIMHP-- Psychoanalyst Selma Fraiberg wrote a famous essay in 1987 entitled “Ghosts in the Nursery” that enlightened professionals regarding the powerful impact of early experiences on parents’ relationships with their...
The Attachment Dance
-Debra Wesselmann and Cathy Schweitzer When your attachment relationship with your child is at its best, you and your child may experience the relationship as a dance in which both partners are moving to the same rhythm. Although you are in the lead, it’s not forced....
Help Parents Understand the Power of Their Face
-Debra Wesselmann and Cathy Schweitzer Newborn babies are drawn to the face of the parent. Initially, the baby focuses just above the parent’s eyes. Eventually the baby is drawn to the eyes themselves. This is a magical and powerful moment in the life of the...
For Parents: An Investment of Time and Energy That You Will Never Regret
--Debra Wesselmann, MS, LIMHP Infants and toddlers who experienced neglect, changes in caregivers, or early medical pain or hospitalizations suffer great consequences for a situation that the children did not choose for themselves. Children who lived with constant...
Confessions of a Harried Mom
---Stefanie Armstrong, MS, LIMHP On this Sunday afternoon, I’m trying to desperately shove all of the things I “have” to do before tomorrow…so instead I decide to sit down and write. What do the best procrastinators do? When things get too much, they do something...
Is Your Child Driving You Crazy with Attention-Seeking Behavior?
--Debra Wesselmann, MS, LIMHP Children will seek attention from their parents through a myriad of ways, such as hanging onto them, pulling on them, whining, complaining of stomach aches and headaches, and poking at their siblings. What is a parent to do? You may find...
What is Your Child’s “Attachment Language”?
--Debra Wesselmann, MS, LIMHP Does your child attempt to instigate conflict? Do you feel like he has a need to argue or aggravate you? Do you find yourself losing your cool over and over and then feeling terrible about it afterwards? Your child may be “hooked” on...
Regressed Behaviors in Traumatized Children
By Debra Wesselmann, MS, LIMHP: “Why is my 9-year old smearing feces on the wall?” “Why is my 14-year old stealing food from the cupboards in the middle of the night?” When my own children were small, I remember reading a passage by child expert T. Berry Brazelton MD...
Core Beliefs: What’s My Child Thinking? What’s at my Child’s Core?
By Cathy Schweitzer, MS, LMHP and Stefanie Armstrong, MS, LIMHP We hear a lot these days in the mainstream media about positive self-talk. Motivational speakers talk about positive affirmations and the power of positive thinking. It isn’t very often, however, that...
“As I opened up the Netflix app I was stunned…”
Article by Stefanie Armstrong, MS, LIMHP: “Ahhh. this is going to be so nice…I’m going to fold clothes and watch a documentary (one of my most favorite things to do). It’s going to be a relaxing afternoon.” Can you tell that I enjoy even the simplest of things? As...
Making Time for Face-to-Face-Time…
---Debra Wesselmann, MS, LIMHP I was watching my grandchildren at the park recently, sitting near a young mother who appeared absorbed in a game on her phone while her two young children played on the equipment. The children called out time and again, as children do,...
Adoptive Parents: Talking with Traumatized Children About Their Lives
Debra Wesselmann, MS, LIMHP The Attachment and Trauma Center Institute Over the years, I have worked with many adults who were adopted as infants or adopted from overseas or from the U.S. foster system. A common theme I have heard from every adult was, “No one ever...
Adoption is Not the Problem
Adoption is not the problem. Adoption is a win-win for adoptive parents, children, and birth parents. Adoption is not the problem, but early attachment losses and traumas are enormous problems. These early experiences remain trapped in the emotional regions of the...
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